


Football In Song

by tooyoung_toodumb



Category: Men's Football RPF
Genre: Football In Song, M/M, Music
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-09
Updated: 2019-01-02
Packaged: 2019-09-06 14:08:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16834144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tooyoung_toodumb/pseuds/tooyoung_toodumb
Summary: Some football fics inspired by songs!





	1. Dancing On My Own

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! This is my first first published story. I'm always too judgemental on myself and even now I'n not 100% sure of it. So I go on before I change my mind.  
> English is not my first language so I'm sorry for any mistakes!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm pretty satisfied with the chapter so I hope you like it as well ^^
> 
> The song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q31tGyBJhRY

15/10/18

You destroyed me today. Bring her at training was a low blow. _Somebody said you got a new friend,_ but I didn’t believe them because you’re my best friend and these are the first things you should have to tell me. Two month, she said you’re together from two month and you kept this from me! I honestly still can’t believe it…

_And there's a big black sky over my town_ , it’s like me right now. You hoped it won’t be raining because training with rain suck but I assured you that I hadn’t arrived at that yet. Surely you didn’t understand me.  
However I saw her today. The way she supported you even if it was just a training session, the way she smiled at you and the way you kept looking through her. I saw that but I can’t stop thinking _but does she love you better than I can?_ Because yes, I love you stupid prick and I probably won’t say this to you. Ever. Because I see how she makes you happy, and I’m just your best friend.

You destroyed me, but it’s not raining today.

28/10/18

_I know where you're at, I bet she's around._ It's probably easier to win the lottery than to hang out with you lately. I miss you and me. I miss the way we just chilled after a particular weary training session; I miss when you showed at my front door unannounced because you’re bored and we stayed up all night talking but sweet nothing; I miss my better half since she’s here. But now I can’t stay two fucking minutes with you because she is always near you! And this is annoying because I’m your best friend and I have the rights to spend time with you. I was here first!

I can’t believe you bring her to our spot. _And yeah I know it's stupid, but I just gotta see it for myself._ When she told me about that wonderful place where you brought her I didn’t believe her. ~~Because yeah I’m still your friend after all so she believe that I’m her friend too.~~ That park is our special spot and now is ruined because you have zero originality. There are millions and millions places and you choose the one I still ~~go~~ went to remember you. Congrats, you’re really smart…  
And yeah, probably I shouldn’t have done it, but you know me right? I’m a masochist so _I'm in the corner, watching you kiss her_ and it hurts. Why her? Is she funnier than me? Is she a better cook? ~~I bet she doesn’t know that you like carrots with the yogurt~~. It’s because she’s a girl? Okay now I’m bubbling … better go to sleep. Hope I can dream you without her ~~and with me~~.

11/11/18

I was at that party too last night, you know? It’s not like you are handcuffed to her, you can approach to your mates and have a dialogue about the game or whatever. It’s like we are invisible, I most of all, and I don’t understand it because _I'm right over here, why can't you see me?_ Is she really more important than me? Did I make a wrong idea of our friendship all over the years? Is a girl really separating us?  
Because I’ve tried. I tried to talk to you both but I easily felt put aside. I’ve even tried to talk about her with you for god’s sake! Listening to how wonderful she is, how glad you are of having met her ~~and how much I wanted to strangle her only god’s knows~~. And I tried also to keep me busy, but my mind always came back to you.

At one point I only thought _I just wanna dance all night,_ fuck everyone. _And I'm all messed up, I'm so out of line_ that I found myself arguing with a double sized man just for the sake of it. He could have killed me, but I didn’t care. I just wanted to turn off my emotions. But you came to save me, I could barely stand up and you kept me steady. ~~Do I have to try to kill myself to catch your attention?~~ You made that big guy see reason -and I’ll be always grateful to you because I could have really hurt myself last night- , he felt pity for me and he spared me. Then I saw the look on your face when you brought me out of there. Oh, I’ll remember it forever, even if I was drunk and I will probably pretend not to remember anything to avoid any explanation. You were so pissed off, I disappointed you but you stayed with me anyways, scolding me. _But I'm not the guy you're taking home._ Again, you left with her.

01/12/18

_So far away, but still so near._ We barely talked since the party. I know that I was stupid but you’re my friend, my best friend, you have to understand that something it’s not right about me. I hoped it at least. I’ve made a decision. I accepted a transfer to another team, so this will be our last month together. In January I’ll be one of your enemy. We will see each other only on the international break but I doubt you’ll be happy to see me so it’s over.

I came at yours to talk to you, to tell you the news. You were busy with her and said you can’t talk to me privately. ‘Then fuck yourself -I thought- you can find out about it with the others’. But I’m not like that at all, so I waited nearby until she left. _But you don't see me standing here._ Two hours in the fucking December cold! But I still don’t want to know what you were busy with. _I just came to say goodbye._

05/06/2021

I really don’t know why I’m doing this right now. Maybe because I keep seeing you everywhere or maybe because I have nothing else to lose as you’re getting married. It’s not fair from me doing this right now -and probably this won’t arrive on time so whatever- but I really wanna let you know why I will not attend it. We were friend and I left because I couldn’t stand you two together any longer. Then I decided to try and live my life and this plastic card with my name on it it’s not what I want, not with her name on it honestly. You probably heard about this but I’m about to leave the country. Changing team didn’t give the results I was hoping for, so I hope changing country will help me. I wish you all the happiness because I’m still firstly your friend after all and you deserve to be happy, even if your happiness is not me.

Sometimes I ask myself if you ever knew, you knew and didn’t say anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm curious, I try to write it as neutral as possible but I have two people in mind. So whom did you imagine the story with?


	2. Naked

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you don't know the song and wanna listen to it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WXyLdg4mJxo

_Hey, you there_  
_Can we take it to the next level_  
_Baby, do you dare?_  
_Don't, be scared_  
_'Cause if you can say the words_  
_I don't know why I should care_

“What do you think the boys would think if they knew about us?” Dele asks point-black to the blonde man, when he was washing the dishes. Eric, blindsided, almost break a glass.

Luckly he give his back to Dele that seems not notice a thing.

“I don’t know. Probably they’ll freak out” he replies shrugging.

“In a positive or a negative way?”

“I don’t know” Dele rolls his eyes.

“I think it’s time to tell them”

“Why now?”

“Because, they’re the boys Eric. And we can’t hide it any longer” Eric dries his hands and turns to look at him.

“Are you aware that after we told them we wouldn’t have an easy life, right? All our moments together will be ruined. Every look, every touch will be reason of pranks”

“What kind of people do you believe you’re dealing with?!” Eric raises an eyebrow.

“Yeah, you’re right” Dele giggles, but he doesn’t give up on his idea of coming out at least on the field, when they spend most of the days.

“But think about-”

The doorbell stops the conversation.

“We talk about this later, okay?” the black hair man nods while the blonde one walks though him kissing him on the cheek.

_'Cause here I am_  
_I'm giving all I can_  
_But all you ever do is mess it up_  
_Yeah, I'm right here_  
_I'm trying to make it clear_  
_That getting half of you, just ain't enough_

The first time that happens, the two had just finished dinner. It’s Saturday night and Dele would like to go out.

“What do you think about it? We can bring them if you want” he asks pointing through the dogs perched around the fireplace.

“It’s too cold and everybody go out on Saturdays” it’s the blonde’s answer without looking away from the cheap film on the tv.

“So? It’s not like you live alone on the planet”

“I don’t want to, alright? Can we stay here and just cuddle?” he puts his adorable pout at which Dele can’t and doesn’t know how to say no.

He nods and so he spend another Saturday evening at home, with Eric and a film that he won’t watch.

The second time, they’re on the pitch. Dele has the ball through his feet and is trying to nutmeg the others. At the moment his victim’s Eric. The blonde man is distracted by Christian and doesn’t pay attention to the other that sneaks in him. Or at least that is what Dele believe. Eric moves quickly, but he trips over the ball and falls down bringing Dele with him.

“Could you stand up please?” the blonde asks.

“Why?”

“You’re not as light as you think”

The black hair man open wide his mouth in shock and he is even more shocked when Eric applies a little strength pushing him aside. Dele keeps lay on the ground for those that seems hours, but actually are barely two minute. Harry Kane brings him back to reality shadying him with his body.

“You’re alright mate?”

“Yeah” Dele shake his head and gets up, catching up with the guys.

__  
_I'm not gonna wait until you're done_  
_Pretending you don't need anyone_  
_I'm standing here naked_

_  
I'm standing here naked_

  
_I'm not gonna try 'til you decide_  
_You're ready to swallow all your pride_  
_I'm standing here naked_

_  
I'm standing here naked_

The third time is in the locker room. The team is wearing the important suit, as Erik likes to name the black suits they wear on important games. Some of them, Christian, Harry Kane, Dele and Harry Winks, are ready to go and formed little group to waste some time. Some come out to get fresh air. Others, like Eric, are fighting with their last fittings. One of the thing the blonde really hate the most is wearing a tie. It tightens on the neck and he feels like he is trapped … then he doesn’t know how to make to tie it. He easily get nervous when he see the black suit but he doesn’t want to let that piece of cloth get the better of his mood, he really doesn’t, but at that moment it was winning.

It’s Dele that does the first move. With a wave of his hand, he walks away from the group and reaches Eric who, in front of the mirror, is fighting with the supposed tie.

“Here, let me” gently he pushes away his hand and begins to adjust it.

“No, I can do it myself” Eris says stubborn because _it’s not possible that I can’t tie that damn thing at 24._ _Even Winksy can do it!_

“Come on Eric, we’ll be late. You can try next time”

“I said I can do it myself!” he snaps right on Dele’s face and he freezes.

“Fuck off” he whispers trying to hold back the tears when he walks out the room.

_Hey, get out_  
_I've got nothing left to give_  
_And you give me nothing now_  
_Read, my mouth_  
_If you ever want me back_  
_Then your walls need breaking down_  
  
_'Cause here I am_  
_I'm giving all I can_  
_But all you ever do is mess it up_  
_Yeah, I'm right here_  
_I'm trying to make it clear_  
_Getting half of you, just ain't enough_

“We have to talk”

“Del-”

“Not _Dele_ me. I tried Eric, I really did, with all my mights. But they seemed vanished lately. Why do you act like that? Is it for what I asked you while ago? Do you not love me anymore? Please I need to know. All this is killing me”

“Dele no. Of course I love you and I wanna stay with you. Don’t you ever think otherwise”

“Then why are you acting like a weirdo, treating me like shit for no reason?”

“I’m freaked out, alright? All this couple thing made me think about myself. I thought about football, family, our careers and I freaked out. I’m just scared of what people could think and I have to- I need some time … to think about it properly”

“You need… - Dele scoffs - Okay listen, I love you so I’ll respect all you want. But I can’t live like this anymore. I deserve more. And if you’re not willing to break down your walls, we won’t work and it’ll kill me having to let you go. Please make a choice. And please choose me”

_I’m standing here_


	3. All I Want For Christmas Is You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little Christmas chapter ^^
> 
> If you wanna listen to the song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yXQViqx6GMY

There they are. This year the annual unofficial England Christmas party is hosted by James Maddison and Ben Chilwell. It’s more Ben than James, as the former likes to remember, because ‘ _I put the spirit, Madds only made available his house’_ but how cares. It’s not like he keeps saying this for two weeks now.

He likes Christmas, just not as the same level as Ben. Then he always flies home during Christmas so he doesn’t see the utility to waste decorations in an empty house. All in all he likes how Ben plans all, how he makes lists -for each houses obvs- in order to not forget anything. And Ben knows that Madds loves the decorations and shows a pic of them everytime he can, even if he’ll never admit it.

James doesn’t know why, but John and Kyle show at his house _hours_ before the actually party. Kyle only mumbles something about decoration and how that is the most beautiful part of that event. He has even brought a Christmas CD (homemade) and claims to listen to it during the decoration process. Obviously Ben had accepted very happily.

James doesn’t bother to ask any further because more help means less work so he was much more than glad of it. _Don’t say it to Ben though sssh._ Instead, he offered himself to prepare some hot chocolate and disappear in the kitcken.

So soon it became the Ben and Kyle’s show. They sing along all the songs and James will never admit that but he’s enjoying the view. Sure, he thinks the neighbors could shut it down even before the party started but it worth the risk if he can see Ben that happy.

When he has all up, he returns in the other room finding Ben and Kyle in the attempt to fix the star on the tree’s tip. On the stereo one of the many covers of _Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas_ so they’re more than concentrate on that. It’s John who puts it in there receiving moans from the two. He doesn’t lose his cool and shushed the two “Don’t make the chocolate get cold” and the pair find another reason to be happy.

Then a xylophone begins. Ben and Kyle shares a very alarming look - for James anyway. The hot chocolates forgotten on the coffee table.

“Oh no” James whispered, hiding the face behind his hands. John looks at him not understanding what’s going on. _Lucky you._

 _“IIIIII don't want a lot for Christmas”_ the two begin and he turns though John who now seems much more aware of what’s happening.

 _“There's just one thing IIIII neeed”_ they look each other.

 _“I don't care about the presents_ -they lift an arm like a classic ballerina- _underneath the Christmas tree_ -they do the same with the other one- _. I just want you for my own -_ Kyle put an hand on his chest and Ben mirrors him, creepy- _More than you could ever know. Make my wish come truuuuuuue. Aaaall I want for Christmaaas iiiiis youuuuuu”_ Ben points James, Kyle points John and then they pretend to play a fake drum. Okay, it’s not like they had premeditated all of this right?!

 _“I don't want a lot for Christmas, there is just one thing I need -_ an after the choir he can sit and pretend to disappear in the cushions- _I don't care about the presents underneath the Christmas tree. I don't need to hang my stocking there upon the fireplace. Santa Claus won't make me happy with a toy on Christmas day”_ and then things can only escalated. Kyle had himself in the Grease Lightning dance to which Ben laughs but still follows him. 

“And they’re not even drunk” he hears from John. The latter is recording all and he smirks, it will be a long night for his friends.

 _“I just want you for my own, more than you could ever know. Make my wish come true. All I want for Christmas is you. Yooooou baby”_ they begin to swing. Kyle snapping his fingers and Ben clapping because, we all know he’s not capable of doing it. So he snaps his fingers alongside the song to make a fool of him, giggling.

 _“All the lights are shining so brightly everywhere. And the sound of -_ Come on Madds, join us!” Ben grins while keeping to sing.

And he starts to refuse gently already planning his revenge when _“Santa won't you bring me the one I really need won't you please bring my baby to me e e e”_ Ben sings looking him in the eyes and after that how can he not loosen up a bit?!

_“All I want for Christmas is youuuuuuuuuuuu”_

“Kyle, my ears!”


	4. Ruin My Life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if I'm disappeared! Hope you like it and I'm forgiven ^^
> 
> Song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3OTjFqWcDQY

_I miss you pushing me close to the edge_   
_I miss you_   
_I wish I knew what I had when I left_   
_I miss you_

John isn’t the simplest person, he knows it. He is sweet but hates romance. He’s loud _very loud_ but a very shy person. He wants control, but he doesn’t want to impose himself. He’s stubborn and wants always to have the last word, and with a guy like Jordan Pickford … damn he met his match.

During international breaks their friendship grown up a lot. It was easy to find John knowing where Jordan was and vice versa. Every time together was occasion of teasing or joking with each other. So it was hard when they went home after the last game as England the first week of November. Both knew that it was hard to reconcile their schedules with their need to see each other but while John is the _we can see each other every time we have five min spare, we have technology by our side_ type of person, Jordan is much more the _I wanna see you first thing in the morning and last in the evening_ type.

Jordan decided to go to John’s because due to an injury his coach had decided to bench him for the next game. Firstly he was red with anger and he would surely hit something ~~or someone~~ if his mind hadn’t thought of going to John. They hadn’t seen each other for two weeks and he can’t wait.

John wasn’t at home and “Fuck I should have called and warned him _”_ he said to his white door.

“Yeah probably” he jumped a little as he turned around seeing John approached him.

“I thought my imagination was playing me when I glimpsed on you. But then even Kyle saw you so I left him at the mall and I came back”

“Oh John -Jordan’s laugh is music to John’s ears, he missed him so much- you left Kyle shopping on his own?” he shrugged mirroring the other’s smile.

“Do you wanna come with me? I really need grocery”

So the two went to the mall, they even find Kyle and Jordan apologized for his dickhead friend. But Kyle shushed him because “He always panicked when it’s you, so no worry mate”. John felt suddenly red on the face at that but he dragged Jordan away without words. Only the other two laughter.

They began to search everything on John’s list and Jordan added some extra for him. So familiar. And there, when the blonde one was about to put the item in the cart, he saw it.

“Jordan!”

“Sorry, I thought you like this kind of chocolate. I-”

“What’s on your hand?” Jordan looked down at his hand, the black brace now in plain view.

“Oh”

“Yeah _oh_. Is that why you're here?”

“I really wanted to see you and yes this is the first chance so I took it”

“But you have to rest! Not drive for an hour only to see me”

“Onl- Can we talk about it at home please?” John sighed but nodded.

They returned home shortly thereafter and Jordan didn’t even have time to put the bag on the table that John was made to picked up a big issue.

“Look, it’s not a big deal. The tutor is too much if I’m being honest. I just have to keep it at rest for two days”

“Before or after the drive?!” John put in sternly.

“Jesus John, I can’t wait to see you and the only thing you are concerned about is my hand!”

“It’s not like I was happy these weeks Jord. But I’m concerned because I know how it is overstate an injury”

“It’s not like that, I promise. But the coach wanted me to take it easy so”

“So you thought driving for an hour was okay”

“Here we go again! Can you just be happy to see me?”

“I’m glad to see you but I could have come to yours”

“Yeah during the game break” he rolled his eyes while John began to put away the grocery.

Suddenly John felt two arm around his waist and Jordan’s head on his back. He kissed a non particular spot murmuring ‘I’m sorry’ and the blonde can clearly felt the other one relaxing.

“Now can you turn around and lower yourself so that I can kiss you properly?”

_You set fire to my world, couldn't handle the heat_   
_Now I'm sleeping alone and I'm starting to freeze_   
_Baby, come bring me help_

_Let it rain over me_   
_Baby, come back to me_

Training. John was in a bad shape, he knew it. Today was even hard to pronounce the word so John kind of expecting ‘the calling’.

“John, can I have a word?”

“Yeah sure”

“Are you sleeping well?” the tall one frowned. He definitely didn’t expect that conversation.

“What do you mean?”

“I observed you during the week and that guy I saw, well it’s not you … and I’m concerned”

“I’m fine” did he answer too quickly? Surely. Did he want to escape from that situation? Definitely.

“Are you sure? Because if you wanna take a few days off, you can do it. You can go visit someone, you know”

“I have no place to be except here” he managed to say after that slight sideswipe.

“Anyway, I’m always here for a chat. Do you know this, right?” he nodded.

“I’m so excited! Today we have sausage!”

“It’s not like you can’t eat it the other day Lee”

“Hey Colin’s sausage is amazing”

“Leroy!” he gained a blow to the head from the coach that was passing by in that moment and laughers from his teammates. Gosh, Kyle was about to burst.

All the table was full of laughter, mostly because Sané didn’t seem to have realized what he had said and kept looking lost at their friends.

The only one serious was John. He tried to join the conversation, but he kept focus on other things. Even the water bottle’s label was interesting because _me and Jordan drunk that one time._ He was completely zoned out and maybe his coach was right, he should have taken a few days off. But why? He knew perfectly that rest wouldn’t help.

“He was less tired when Pickford spent the night with him” Delph tried to have a reaction by the tall man in another way. He always reacted somehow when they joke about his relationship with Jordan.

But their friend didn’t react neither that time. He instead lost himself in his memories again.

_“Stop hogging all the blankets idiot!” it’s a normal Wednesday night at Jordan’s house. Nine in the evening and their in bed. Mostly because John had to leave early next morning in order to arrive in time at training. But it’s hard when he isn’t tired yet._

_“But I’m freezing! And then their too small for me”_

_“Blankets in the closet and are fine, you’re too tall” he replied with a false annoying tone._

_“Do I have to rose? No way” he giggled and pulls John close to himself._

_He’s so childish sometimes, he admit it, but he can’t help it. He loved teasing Jordan. Seeing how he hides a constant smile on his face with his arm, how he frowns when he jumped up and down on his bed and he had to stop him because ‘My neighbors look already badly at me since the last time thank you’, how he moans when teasing became_ teasing _and he can’t keep his hands down Jordan’s body…_

_“John, I swear I kill you._ _Quit touching me. Your feet are cold_ _!”_

_“But you are a radiator. Why are you so hot?” he complained._

_“I can warm you up if you want to” stated the blonde pointing his arms at John’s side so his weigh wasn’t on him._

_“Can you please?” and his eyes are so full of excitement and desire that Jordan had to behave himself._

“John!” Kyle shook him, really concerned right now.

“Are you okay mate?”

“Sorry” he rosed and disappeared behind the door quickly. He had to do something for his friends.

He was tired but was also happy.

_I want you to ruin my life_   
_You to ruin my life, you to ruin my life, yeah_   
_I want you to fuck up my nights , yeah_   
_Fuck up my nights, yeah, all of my nights, yeah_   
_I want you to bring it all on_   
_If you make it all wrong, that'll make it all right, yeah_   
_I want you to ruin my life_   
_You to ruin my life, you to ruin my life_

It hits him late at night. He had a day off and spent it alone. He never spent a day off alone in five months. And then that stupid key brought back memories and he wasn’t able to fall asleep.

He wanted Jordan to ruin his life. He wanted Jordan to wake him up in the middle of the night giving him an heart attack when he is fine _just too excited to sleep._ He wanted Jordan to teasing him because he always lose and he can’t lose. He wanted Jordan to apologize with him before go to sleep because _what if I didn’t wake up tomorrow, the last memory you have of us would be a fight._ He wanted Jordan waking him up with kisses all over his face. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with Jordan. He wanted Jordan because he love him.

But he had already fucked everything up. He lost him. He can’t do anything more.

_I miss you more than I thought that I could_   
_I miss you_   
_I know you missin' me too like you should_   
_I miss you_

“Hi John, you look like shit” he rolled his eyes and stepped away to let Kyle in.

“Oh no stop talking Johnny, you are so talkative sometimes” John made his way to the couch and sit on it. Kyle opted for the armchair in front of him instead.

Two minutes passed by and no one marked a word. Kyle is determined to let his friend talk though.

“Will you decide to tell me what happened?” John kept staring at his friend, no word escaped from his mouth.

“Damn John, you’re my best friend and I have no clue on what's happening with you lately! The other’s even worse than you” his friend’s body tensed suddenly at his words.

“What- what do you mean?” his first words since he was there. He would joked on it but passed.

“I saw him two days ago. He must have lost his razor because I've never seen him with such a long beard” John opened his mouth several times but no sounds escaped from it.

“And John let me tell you this as a friend, you’re an idiot” Kyle leaned forward putting his arms on his knees.

“I’m what?!” he scoffed him.

“You’re acting like two teenagers for nothing. Why you did that?”

“What do you know?” John answered sternly. Then it hit him suddenly and he widen his eyes.

“Where did you see him?”

“It doesn’t matter John. What matters instead is that you two are too dickhead and stubborn to admit that you were wrong. Both of you”

“Where did you see him Kyle” and that wasn’t a question. It was a statement, like he knew but wanted a confirmation.

“I went to his house” Kyle kept his gaze down knowing his friend will surely be mad at him.

“I can’t believe it. I can’t believe you went to him. You had no right!” John murmured at the beginning, his voice higher every word pronounced.

“I was worried about you John! I've never seen you like this before and you didn’t want to talk to me” he finally looked up. It seemed like John was about to burst. His eyes was red and his hair a mess, probably because he kept passing his hand through them.

“Oh so you thought that going to him and screwed me was a good idea” his voice cracked a little.

“I was just-”

“Worried I know. Can you leave please?”

“What? No, John I’m not leaving you like this”

“Kyle please leave me fucking alone!” the door slamming is the signal that made John burst. He cried until he falls asleep that night.

_You set fire to my world, couldn't handle the heat_  
 _Now I'm sleeping alone and I'm starting to freeze_  
 _Baby, come bring me help_  
 _Let it rain over me_  
 _Baby, come back to me (Baby, come back to me)_

London is quite raining, everyone knew that. But he doesn’t know how, Jordan continued to get nervous when it rains. Everyone seemed to slow down, there were traffic everywhere. _It’s only rain for god’s sake._ He took half an hour more to get home and by the time he arrived at his front door, he was soaked. He didn’t regret to living alone, his mother would have washed his mouth with soap if she had been there. _Even John_ he thought would have punished him, in a different way than his mother though.

He shook his head and went change himself. He slip into a grey tracksuit and went to his couch. He sighed. Probably John would have complained about the weather -he really hated the rain and when he had to train with it … it was the end of the world- and would have used this excuse to lay down with him and watched Gossip Girl because _‘it’s unbelievable that you have never seen it’_. Then he would have complained that Jordan didn’t care about him because he didn’t have blankets with foots. And they would end up laughing with Jordan tickling John’s neck, forgetting everything.

“Stop it” he murmured to himself shaking his head again.

But his head didn’t listen and instead he find himself remembering the conversation with Kyle two days ago. He remembered how Kyle showed up at his house without warning, how he went straight to the point wanting to know why John was acting so weird lately, how he snapped to his face that he had to ask his friend. And he remember so well the expression on Kyle's face when he answered back that the reason he went to him was that John wasn’t speaking to no one at the club, that he totally isolated himself and he was worried.

And he couldn’t imagine John, his ever-smiling John, on his own. Even in training.

He remembered asking Kyle what could he do since it was John that decided to end their relationship. It was John that made up excuses to leave, not him. So ‘ _he had no right to felt bad about it’_.

Kyle seemed sincerely surprised and Jordan felt something is his stomach, something that had always been there but he always pushed aside.

Maybe there was an explanation behind all this. He and John had never really talked about it. He had limited himself to leaving, too shaken to even think of something to say.

And he told Kyle that he wasn’t sure about how or when but he would try to talk to John. To solve the problem.

He would have taken the first step even if John didn’t deserve it.

_I want you to ruin my life_   
_You to ruin my life, you to ruin my life, yeah_   
_I want you to fuck up my nights , yeah_   
_Fuck up my nights, yeah, all of my nights, yeah_   
_I want you to bring it all on_   
_If you make it all wrong, that'll make it all right, yeah_   
_I want you to ruin my life_   
_You to ruin my life, you to ruin my life_

Finally he took these day off. Mostly because he didn’t want to see Kyle and acted like his life was peaches and cream. Because nothing was okay in his life anymore.

_It’s just a period_ , he kept saying to himself, _a very long period_.

And now he had to go out because he had that fucking team club Christmas party which he could not miss.

He looked himself in the mirror. His hair seemed to have their own life since that day and he kept they free. His beard wasn’t too long so he decided not to shave. The more he looked at the color of his sweater, the more he regretted it. What was he thinking when he decided to put a blue sweater?

He splashed some water on his face and with a few ‘You got it. You got it’ he stepped out of his bathroom. He put on his jacket as grabbing his car and house keys and approached the front door. He opened it ready to face the evening and found someone in front of him.

“Were you going out?” his damn half smile always on his face, even in this situation.

“City Christmas party”

“Well I think you’ll be late”

“Wha-” John was pushed inside, the door closed behind the pair.

“I need answers John” but the tall one had promptly turned his back to him, not wanting to look him in the eyes.

“Listen to me, I didn’t drive for an hour to see you ignore me!”

“You should’ve called. I have something to do”

“So that you could run away again?” he asked sternly.

“When would I have done that?” he replied immediately, opening his arms.

“Oh come John, you know so well what I’m talking about”

John disappeared through the stairs and Jordan was ready to follow him, but John returned quickly with a hand in a fist. He tossed something to Jordan which felt to the ground. He lowered his head and crouched to took a key.

“I freaked out, okay? I was ready to give you that damn key and tell you that I’ve found the perfect house for us, our spot half way from both fields. How it had two floor and was too big for us but maybe with our children it would have become too small. But I freaked out and began to talk shit and things escalated quickly and -he pulled hard his hair- and I’m so stupid”

“You’re an idiot” Jordan murmured looking the key. He had thought of completely other scenarios and for a moment he cursed himself. He can’t believe his hears. _He wanted to have a family with him!_

“But you know what, we can’t choose who to love and I unfortunately love you little prick” Jordan managed to say after his initial confusion.

“You- you what?”

“I love you John and I’m totally ready to move in with you if you want to” John nodded, he had no word at the moment.

“Promise me to talk to me next time, okay? No more freaking out” and John nodded again.

And then they kissed. Slowly and lovely and damn John was such an idiot for having been deprived of this for so long.

“By the way beautiful sweater” they laughed and kissed again. Soon they’re laid on the bed, the party forgotten.

“I’m sorry. Can we be friend again?”

“It depends”

“I brought you my special _I’m sorry_ cake”

“Hope you’ve done two. I'm starving”

“Kyle!”

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed it! Let me know what do you think and whatever comment or suggestion will be appreciated ^^


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